What Adulting Feels Like

Sometimes I have to be honest…

Experiences are only worth your time when you can walk away and say you enjoyed every minute of it.

Like that time I visited the east coast for the first time. Or the first time I went to a Caribbean island. Those experiences were worth it because I could actually enjoy them without being stressed for cash. They were worth it because I spent it with people I could trust.

I have to be honest and realize that I had fun in college, but really didn’t appreciate certain experiences until my senior year and afterwards. Before that, I had a lot of great memories in college considering how broke I was. But now, being broke has a whole new meaning and I’ve managed to savor every moment and every dollar I work hard to earn.

Which brings me to the point of my post: adulting is hard but the reward for being disciplined and living with intergrity has endless value.

While I currently live with a few roommates in a 4 bedroom, 4 level house, I realize that being a single woman has its perks and its consequences. On one hand, I don’t have to answer to anybody about where I’m going. I don’t second guess my intentions about who I’m hanging out with. I am responsible for only me and I answer to myself. But just because I have this freedom, I still have a responsibility to handle my grown single woman business. That always includes paying the bills, keeping a clean house, personal care and over all seeking life balance. I am responsible for the company I keep, the decisions I make and the outcomes.

I don’t take for granted certain things that I witness other people take. For example, you will not see me acting like I have something to celebrate, throwing parties or tossing back drinks if I am flat broke or have no real idea of where I’m headed. Now I’ve definitely been that dumb before. So no shade to people who are still in this space. But truthfully, you can’t have any real fun when you don’t want to grow up. The best fun I’ve had is with a sound mind and clarity about who I am. I’m not swayed by the silliness of irresponsible people around me. You won’t catch me following a fool just because they feel guilty about their choices and want someone to tag along. I will kindly walk the other way.

“They’ll figure it out on their own,” I find myself saying a lot. And then I say, “Won’t catch me slippin like that again. Learned my lesson.”

So tonight, while there is a kickback downstairs for somebody’s birthday, I’m in the attic, writing. Because I feel the need to take care of business. Yall remember that bucket list I made? I gotta keep aiming for those experiences more than anything else. A trip out of town awaits me next month. I’ve gotta get my coins right so I can really enjoy life. I won’t feel guilty about it when it’s said and done. I’ll be fulfilling my life’s passion both with writing and traveling. The random house parties and careless spending can wait. I’ll be glad to know that I had the most fun when I was willing to sacrifice a Saturday night and just sit this one out.


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